Valuing Virginity.

I have realized lately how little I have valued the fact that I have never had sex. Perhaps this is an uncomfortable topic, but I still want to write about it, I guess.

Some background behind the sparking of this thought...

When somebody was discussing angry e-mails received by an office on campus that distributes discounted condoms to the student population, a listener commented (in a mock response to the "religious" writers of these e-mails who don't approve of pre-marital sexual intercourse) "Have a miserable life."

My friend was in a SVSU production of The Vagina Monologues, and as such I went to see it (likely wouldn't have done so otherwise). I arrived halfway through (had a class), and the discussion was on a girl who had been injured down yonder and later raped, but then found her "savior" in a woman who, to my understanding, either had oral sex with the girl or some equivalent and then taught the girl to masturbate. (Hitting on some big ones here, aren't I?) There were also pieces about a female sex worker who enjoyed the different moans she could get out of her woman clients, women's rights in the Middle East (greatly enjoyed that piece...probably because it was about women and not their vaginal adventures, but anyways), and childbirth (also nicely done!). The point of the production, from what I understand, is to help women appreciate their sexuality. Don't know if I actually walked away from it with that, but moving on.

This production was on Monday (Valentine's, anyone?), and later on that night my boyfriend Jesse was coming over. I was excited to see him, and was discussing it with my roommate. She asked if he would stay the night, and I said no. She looked quizzical and asked why he never stayed over, and I replied that he and I don't sleep together. "I have heard of such a thing, but never met anyone who actually did that," is more or less what she said. We got into further discussion about it, but the end result was a realization on my part how powerful a testimony practicing abstinence is.

Sex is so very complicated. Well, in some ways - physically it seems to be a pretty straight forward affair. But going through pre-marriage training a few weeks ago revealed how many purposes sex has in a relationship. It bonds people together emotionally. It develops a relationship. Yes, it is (reportedly) fun. There are younglings that come out of it (that's pretty wild to think about, huh? life coming from love).

So yes, I am a virgin. And I'm not embarrassed of this. I am learning to embrace it, to celebrate it as beautiful. To cherish it as a rare gem. To be more diligent in protecting it.

Jesus looked deeper than mere physical formalities, however. He took things deep, right to the heart of the matter. For example, just looking at a woman lustfully, Jesus said, was adultery. Jesus raised the stakes of obedience, and I know that on that scale I have fallen short. There is mercy and redemption, thankfully.

And so, encouragement. To my Christian friends - don't look at the "no pre-marital sex" arrangement as a mere rule. It is so much more. It is an opportunity to shine Jesus. Don't be embarrassed at inexperience - cherish it as something beautiful and rare. Maybe there's been some mistakes. Start new. His mercy is new every morning.

I want to live my life for Him in every way, including sexually.